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Anecdotes

Posts 221 to 240 of 240

221

Noble police on the streets Poskvy, states with included pigalkami,
Will guard the mokoy Pedvedeva and of Mutina.

Ekaty does eyebrows for 3 minutes, and Marina for half an hour of exercise.
Question - who of them face Caucasian nationality?

The guy failed in well and, I've been sitting there 5 days. Rescuers found his and
Gunmen, here same summoned wife. Wife very myself don and've been jumping from
Happiness, so as been mulling, that never ??? her husband the movement.

Ending the term strangest yogurt means, that bifidobakterii have gone on
Side of evil.

Snowflake weight 130 kg It's crushing, like, a bunny on the masquerade ball, in hostel
Khlebobulochnogo eiiaeiaoa.

Obama in the US announced during 6. Through 20 years Obama will advertise in
China soba.

A new television project!
100 women, willing to, represent on month on a desert
Island!
So, are looking "Island Korovisch" on first host!

And after all there is even such, which have hands are rising not from asses - they have them,
Bitch, are rising in the ass!

Read more some odnokorennykh idiomaticheskikh words and expression on
Intellectual language:
The cock - symbol of fertilization just-existence and source of just current
No fucking way - the absence of or denial of just-existence and current
Nekhuya - request not bandy about in vain-existence and not crawl in the flow of current
Khuyvam - disagreement with all a labyrinthine and current
Fucked up - nekomfortnoe a sense of from just-existence and current.
Fuck is this -, the smallest rudimentary particle just-existence and current
Khuyovina - the unit ,-educated sustainable connection any sign of fucked-up shit
Claimed a road - speak out not adequately of things and current
Pokhuizm - indifferentnoe attitude to everything of things and current
The fuck - the reference on original source just-existence and current
No fuck - question about, or modified phenomena in mould) and the current
, like, fucking - drooling from phenomena taking place in the mould) or the current
Dick on the forehead - way to to start thinking about the entire mould) and the current
. So fucking abso-- it - experience stress from attempts to start thinking about mould) and the current

- with, and I'll hang myself!
- A I you'll punish!
- How? In a corner perevesish?

As sever marine knot?
1. Eastern be standing headphones.
2. You put it in pocket.
3. You pester - marine knot ready!

Lenin gave with proposition of mercy "Common Agricultural Russia"

Vagaries modernization in agriculture. Rustic shepherd taken
On horse, because so higher, and cell phone better harks back!

Was inaugurated President Belarus has passed on new rules: On this time
Instead hands Dad put an on constitution the cock.

Sanya, tell soon.
I not becomes.
Nu tell.
Yes not becomes I.
Nu tell soon, made there be able.
Yes. (Raising steel). You all towards and motherfuckers.
Sanya, you that incon?
Nu I same spoke, not becomes I. :rofl:

Georgian armed forces ship the new tanks, they have 6 transmission,
5 rear and 1 front. Rhineland the speed need a in case, if government
Obey.

Chief of - s:
- Dear colleagues! I brought together you all today, because. Because
You - puzzle. :rofl:

- Greetings!
- Has gone nah!
- You very polished such a Campaign?
- This is increasingly you is to blame! When me thumping, he clutches, increasingly've condemned: "Grow,
Being a tit, a large and a small "!
- Nu yes, and very polished?
- Cho, very polished. Here is and rose - one large, another a small!

1999 as went on rally, and Petr went on petting. But on meeting was people surreptitiously and
Broke a, that 1999 as, too, ascents of on petting!

News science: British scientists discovered Moldovan scientists.

Half of people - fools.

0

222

Than valuable communication in Internet.
Can be sit have monitor in drannykh sweatpants, with nebritoy were a hatchet face, burp? And loudly fart. Looking under this well itself cultural and authorities steeped man. And contrary.

Inteligent came in rural bath, closely have read timetable work and price list.
Asks have banschitsy:
- Banya operates?
- A what?
- Nu Bath works?
- she was working, works.
- Entrust me ticket on one thing face.
Banschitsa with interest:
- A that, Zentiva man, you the ass wash not regulation that whether?!

In the zoo:
- the Pope, something a gorilla very evil on us dreamt.
- Quietly, son, this still only casava. (Know, that already despite being 15 metres below, but perishing very me this joke nicely likes)

Dr. the patient:
- Can be utterly a calm. With someone the heart you prozhitete until seventy years.
- A me and there is seventy.
- Nu here is see!

- dear, I you fear!
- Why?
- you me going to rape!
- So after all I on the street, and you on balcony fifth building!
- A I now'll be down!!!

Some women entire life trek on 10-inch love-tailed stilettos, tug
Undercoat around the body, whichn is exposed under skin silicon, remove a downside couples
Ribs, 're pumping out fat, budo alongside kendo skin on personified by, and here is anal sex not like
- see whether, them painful for.

On urban for competitions on bullet shoot.Shooting "gold" received Ivanov, "silver" - Petrov, "ints" - Mykolayiv, and here is lead second worker 80 Sidorov, which before time released reverse targets.

What would stupidity not had head, that would not said the angry language, that would not have made curves hands, far would not brought through the its feet, for all accrues ass.

We represent you the newest a means from mosquitoes - phonographs "Raptor"!
Abide one disc, if you just put under language, and increasingly. Mosquitoes disappear.
Emerge sectoral agreements jeopardize economic, exotic butterflies, bears and Roma.

- woman, and you where in early life sat tank or in the fighting?
- In obezyanike from-for contact with loveliness of.

Wife from cuisine shouts husband:
- No, you only employed. Our vas'ka ate all jams and shat in bank.
Husband:
- That same it comes%%% are, I same you spoke yesterday - SHlT! And, you zasakharilos, zasakharilos.

He you three cucumber, bank sprattus, two wrapping herrings, stimulant three package kefir and sat in team bus.
Are looking on First host "300 ~ 500W on demand"!

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223

Dog believes owner too high and abnormally sharp dog.

Jewish parliament court on discussion question: "Can be whether respond issue on question?" By the end of days was taken decision: "And why would and there is no?."

C:
- Hello, Alexander! Nothing, that I will to invite to take you simply "Alexander"?
The manager:
- Nu, in principle, this not lethally - but me Immigrate to Quebec, when me call Vitaly.

Meet two a friend. One says:
- Can you imagine that, yesterday for physical jerks through a newspaper gave announcement, that on central Tiananmen cities in 12 hours will collection assholes.
- Ha-ha-ha! Perhaps no one came?!
- All Square was bar stoned!
- Yes you that?!
- Everyone came watch on those, who will come!

0

224

Several lessons life! :-D

Lesson 1

Naked wife goes from baths and is turned in towel, husband In the wake it goes to accept souls. In this time someone ringing in door phone call. Wife opens the door and sees Bob, neighbor from below. Even before, as she has time say modicum word, Bob says: I dam you $800, if you give many towel ! After second reflection wife absolves towel. Bob gives it $800 and moves away. Wife again is turned in towel. Husband goes from soul and asks: This is not Bob has been stymied? She: Bob. He: A he you not conveyed those $800, which policies--and I have last week ?
Morality: If you on time of you will wind until specific findings their shareholders conditions the Imperial credit, thereby not will bet their in uncomfortable before borrower.

Lesson 2

Boss and his collaborators: Systemic administrator and senior the manager go on lunch, but on path accidentally find the old the copper-based bottle. They its were rubbing your, and from lamp jumped rum: I perform an on one desire each of you. Systemic administrator has cried: I, first I! Want on the Bahamas, fly on waves of in bystrokhodnom boat and to me nothing not worried ! The manager: A now I! Want on, the language to I have was personal a masseuse and Sea economist, and to I enjoyed lives. Gene ausubt their desires. Then tide is turning to the boss and asks: Nu, and you what do ? Boss responded: So, let quickly, just give it back in office those two slackers, on nose annual report !
Morality: Anaaaa watch for, until your boss the first reach in and rip out its opinion.

Lesson 3

Priest proposed, give you a ride a nun. She sela in machine and marked pace on pace, so that its modest women opened a its beautiful its feet. Priest slightly not fell in accidents, look at their. But, on reflection, slightly've angled its hand to its yet. The Nun told: religious, remember Psalm 123 ? Priest drew hand. Through while, his hand again almost involuntary reached to its yet. The Nun still times: religious, remember Psalm 123 ? Priest says: Uvy, sister, flesh so is weak. But it gets its until of female monastery and proceeds with neuspokoennoy flesh. Having arrived in Church he wonderful journey, to read the Psalm 123. And that he sees: Go further, further and further and your desires granted.
Morality: If you poorly know the, that you been paved know before enrolling in you profession, you can miss many opportunities.

Lesson 4

But sits on the tree. Past such as rabbit. He asks a crow: That you one takes ? She: Yes that want so nothing and not do. Rabbit asked: A I so will be able ? But: Why there is no?. Sat rabbit under tree, sits, nothing not makes. Past'd jog fox, looks: Sits rabbit. Here she his and had.
Morality: To sit and nothing not to do, need sit very highly.

Lesson 5

Turkey says, so is bull: Ox, as would me like might soar on tip this tree of and look at the world made there. Bull asks: And why not're goin 'up ? She: Yes forces race. He: A you palleggi my shit, in it heap useful and nutrients. Other helps will help and you. Turkey eaten useful shit one day has managed might soar on first branch. The second day on second. So gradually and climbed almost on the most the upper hand. Where and was shot off a farmer to festive an earnest dinner companion, as the most once fattened turkey.
Morality: Aa?uii sometimes can help rise on the most the upper hand, but more often 're being sucked down..

Lesson 6

A small a bird not managed o in warm the brink in the early winters. Was chilly, a bird they found and has fallen on the field. Past commanded cows, and was a cow moskol engulfed squarely on uncheck. "Little bird became warmly, she otogrelas and on joys she. Past behaved a, heard sing pets market, excavated a able to confuse cow's scone , took out made there uncheck and you.
Morality: 1. Dont every, who pours them out on you shit your enemy. 2. Dont every, who reaches you from shit your each. 3. If sitting in shit, and carry his mouth a closed.

0

225

On fact free lunch case only in cheeseburger, which punched a hole in
On ticket office as Whopper.

- You tell us, made those wife on 23s offered?
- Hell, no.
- also we a useful gift.
- Javadxan, importantly seats not ranks.

And cost me, and cost me, in color zvenyaschuyu hell is that, three white horse,
Two red of the elephant, the penguin ,-park and deer.

To not seem available on first singles the, girl eaten banana
Spoon.

Are looking on job table! "A new folder 3"!
From creator "New folder" and "New folder 2"!!

Chinese wisdom holds: If you nothing to acquire say, tell Chinese
Wisdom.

- There are to drink?
- A drink there is, there is there.

Father Leonid,, bought to Ledoux "Kalinu", every evening in garage violates pledged
Celibacy.

Phone call on radio Alla :
- Bankers can order my reach for the song were Pugachevoi (True
Colonel ?
- A as to invite to take your an over-familiar?
- Colonel Qaddafi.
- There.
- A what can be?
- the Colonel at once no one not writes groups the-2 .

- Why, when I have in washing machine insurance is centrifuge, sharply
Falls the speed Internet?
- This is hackers steal proprietary your socks through Internet.

Terminally frustrated in our student dining room, when strongly
Scratched a revolution kruassanom.

After death all railcar conduits fall on upper sidebar shelf
Near toilets.

Ukrainian Bride. In dyminu drunken the bridegroom sleeping at the table, to him
Suited each and says:
- 'ovyi, occasion, you on wedding.
The bridegroom:
- Ik-. On whose wedding?
- Yes on your wedding! You today married.
- I married?! And who she?
- Yes we its pleasantly and not saw. You with it got acquainted and through three days
Married.
- How modicum its name is?
- Yes we not remember, aeacoaaoe Galya, aeacoaaoe Palina.
The bridegroom (clawing for head):
- Chipolino.

Beastly, woman - this the kind, that refuses swive.

14 February - Day Sex for card.
23 February - Day male deodorant.
8 Martha - Day revenge for deodorant.

Most favorite in as apartment - to contest for the cat with the vacuum cleaner.

Opposite of words "a synonym for" is word "'s the opposite."

+1

226

In as a Richard.
Old story, their words:
Sovs sessions was prohibited from taken in in the Soviet Union, however from Angola their was being taken virtually all, bypassing the customs cunning way. For baggage live weight necessary, to this cargo behaved as Dead, i.e. not go and at all pretended to be Hey Kuroi grill, only small. Because sovs simply napaivali even 4000m2 as well as whole dining room it with a spoon medical industrial alcohol, after what they least on clock otrubalis and represented not more than besslovesnoe the anatomical guidelines for form of a bird carcasses of in able marmot. Usually comatose pet rostrum in a box kinda tubusa for blueprint, in which prosverlivalis neat holes, and in such a able vezlos on new place of residence.
Who knows, can, in this time alcohol proved dilute or parrot a heck of, but on Customs Declaration can person, when officer opened a bag, tube for blueprint suddenly twitch and from him crawled out disheveled parrot.
- Ope-pa! only and was able say a customs officer, - What same this you, comrade, illegal cargo were transporting?!
Is a master weight already rallied, was, to justify oneself to, but sessions shook it up, flattened feathers and yelled his head off on the whole airport:
- I Russian! I ru-have-have-sssskiy! Russian!
Ah and as was nots refusal to allow such a Comrade on homeland??



There is such parrots sessions. Many pro them heard, but hardly anyone saw. On kind of they be serving those sad, small, razika in two-three more size, than wavy, gray, without special jewellery. One thing only distinguishes them intelligence. Very quickly they instruct human speech and little moreover, on time and to community adopt forestry knowledge.
Parrots sessions dwell in Africa, and, despite entire its wildness, very quickly adjust and peg to people, especially if are beginning communicate with them still hatchlings. One of military advisers, from destined, as times had brought such a nakedness. Puny and naked on this table for, still not obrosshego feathers, officers nutritious his with hands and Y same was true. Already through year he has grown up and, although not learned fly, gets vigorously Caribbean on Camino.
By the time, at American idol. Already knew mass of Russians, English and portugash (portugalsko-English dialect, on it says the main mass population Angola) rugatelnykh words and rush, they enjoyed in daily life.

When on the morning his is a master would leave bathe, sessions'd come running out of the room and it is important behaved on corridor, looking in all room consecutive and commenting on shone:
- How same so? That for fuck is this? voproshal he, looking in first room there all slept, that failed to meet popugayskomu the distractions of the.
- At-and-aado same! struck his he and behaved further.
- Smee-and-irnaaaaa! was yelling sessions have entry in another room. There lived general-Major M. Senior among military advisers and known their komandirskim whistled, and so same love set a pretty such a, to Negroid of light not vzvidet, team.
- A? That?! Where? Fuck! he was screamin 'the waking general, then have at times turned to wall, and burchal, - To you?, pernatoe.
- Sam fool! not remained in debt parrot and behaved further.

In next room only prodirali eyes interpreters, and to them sessions neutralist on burzhuyskom:
- Fuck you, not so whether, Messrs.??
- sessions! Not Zli me! grunt Denis.
- May your not panimaet! proudly claimed parrot and behaved further. Colonel crocodile usually by the time already rush, knew, was is engaged in a work, writing letters on homeland and anti local beer. His room as times commanded next after translators. Near it sessions usually met and he advocated mentorskim tone zeama on educational work:
- Again've got alcohol, comrades?! As can be!
- Dont teach me to live! respond crocodile and reaches out for hand to I'll scare. Sessions it is important was walking to him, then Climbed up the as on zherdochku on index should sit, made there on the table and spoke:
- Bezobr-r-r-r-traceable food safety management system! No since-r-yadka! Loop the full drunkenness and reined debauch! You so not consider? and voprositelno, Stopping by territory has The Crocodile in eyes.
- I Agree fully! supported crocodile and his I'll scare beer in a saucer.
- Level-r-! he advocated soon parrot and saws, - a magic book, spirtyashshshka!

Because room Colonel exhibition two on corridor was far not the latter, and not only crocodile was pleased beer the on the morning to his strange host, already vykhodyaschemu from soul, sessions to get here, man in able some alcohol intoxication.
-! Heh, you, bastards - profoundly sad spoke is a master parrot, - Again, too, they plied. Ah and that me with you to do?
- Shall on the womenfolk!! respond parrot and both they deleted hung over in its room

Deal, meanwhile blizilos to dembelyu, strange host sessions were for Ban to go on homeland. Packing are collected, photos printed out of, tickets bought, jeeps until airport are fueled, word, soon, just something through polsutok she Homeland, the Cold and frightening wet compared with Sao Paulo de Luanda. Russian language everywhere, and not only among their. Blacks, little and without weapons all. Poverty, yes not the. Our fancy team, in general.
But as same be with a parrot?
Why would not do so, as did generations the rest advisers? Give to drink warrior, until sleep gargantuan and carry up to 20kg free directly in baggage? However not here something was! On only as good as ancestors, for puny a budgie, to facilitated on clock immobility, enough one tea phytosterols net industrial alcohol. If parrot big then dining room.
Military advice, after use drugs, ruled, that sessions ??? big. Here same was that is poured in force canteen spoonful of alcohol and presented I'll scare.
- Spirrtyashshshka! said parrot and stimulant.
He then did have hiccups and said:
- zhyttja frost, frost
- there, little - said owner feathered.
- Dont moroz me, - told sessions.
- So let still place a, - proposed general.
's a big pot. Parrot, heartedly where around treats, 'on him the one, then other eye. Was in sight, that drinks him want, but under this as something creepy, the idea of. Finally, pereborov all doubts, sessions stimulant second force canteen spoonful of industrial alcohol.
- Dont are-grrr-oz me! My horse! said he, been rocked and fell on side.
- Nu and thank god. Now. Maybe, you we'll lay them his in tare, yes and going to travel, men, said is a master birds and embarked from-for the table.

- Barfly (film)! Loop one drunkie, Razza by the sand fly, - suddenly said sessions and lift a finger kogtistymi legs.
All freeze, freeze. Advisers, silently and concentrated way be counted number of industrial alcohol in two dining rooms phytosterols relatively their sizes. Until regarded, sessions flipped his beaks and embarked. Begun to sound aggressively zadrav a tuft, he said:
- Out with whom, so gulyat! A Hussar-r-as a European! Of spumante yet the horse his!
- that's awesome! Now still get too stroppy starts, - said the interpreter.
- 440 a drifter, - muttered general.
- Nu, bastards! after Friday is a master parrot, - was over-served all-??? losing me! Ah I you'll arrange!
- Yes okay, not shout, not was over-served, and trained. And the with unaccustomed would contrary flippers could paste together, more accurately wings.
- Yes? And that me now to do?
- First, draw comfort from, and second, parca still. Simply sessions it turns out shredded in like an old glove. In cold accurately not die on our carpet now.

After the third parrot indeed I was just dreaming in deep drunken dream and his was packed in baggage. Flight he, naturally not observed, because just slept for to the end, travel, and came in themselves only homes have his owner. When he wake them and made it out from boxes, by the, a compassionate Colonel already kept ready the a saucer beer:
- Nu as, Zhakoshka? Head not aching?
Parrot so upset, raised a tuft and said:
- It's cold, fuck! then licked to blyudechku and pokhmelilsya. Apparently on old drozhzham intoxication returned and he, already on their own, went to box, where and in flux with comfort.
- Just as you, - meaner have observed wife owner, nablyudavshaya entire picture first and until the end of.
- Pidar-r-race! the fateful sessions and to.
-. Similarly, the as you! earnestly told wife.

0

227

I am asking forgiveness, but this realistically tiresome to read. When hanging out some anecdotes, try to put borrow the least burdening texts, because, as their easier to read and remember. Big slew text initially iai?yaaao, so most people big posts and not reads. Another matter, when man SAM coined and wrote - this quite a different theme, I even simply from respect to read it to you.

0

228

Ah sorry. This history have the already ennnoe number of years, sometimes pereichityvayu (not despite volume of) perishing very kind of fun, no

0

229

1. Aries Thinks many. Says little. Makes correctly.
2. Taurus Thinks about many ways. Says convincingly. Makes as tickles.
3. Twins do Thinks about itself. Says that thinks. Makes thinks, that very well.
4. Cancer Thinks constantly. Says it is tempting. Makes that identify.
5. Lev Thinks accurately. Says surplus. Makes that, from what not managed get out of it.
6. Maiden Thinks one thing. Says another. Makes third, but well.
7. Scales, Thinks surplus. Says honestly. Makes responsibly.
8. Sunik Thinks concentrated way. Says accurately. Makes that likes.
9. A Sagittarius Thinks that only he Tells that all, except him. Makes proxy.
10. The firmament Thinks that in head are to come, at. Says that, until what hasn. Makes that keeps managing.
11. Actis Systems Thinks and that need to? Tells ah if need to fearin better all.
12. Fish Thinks that no one knows. Says he's being clever. Makes in matter, will whether inspect work.

When girls feel insulted strive, they say "all normal", with expression faces "I you only that cursed four times"

Simple stumbling can be cripple woman eye.
A precious - heart of. But old clever people say, that better all-??? eye.

More just pisses me off, when lie, lie so imperfectly,, that want to punch on muzzle and say:
"More help the artistic side, sec. Pay!! Pity irritating!! "

Woman can drinks bottle whisky, beat Outlook the purse and go
Home on dark the streets one, but in toilet she shed with girlfriend.

Institution, fifth couple. All students wowed. And ask teacher:
- Oleg Nikolayevich, ah release, we wowed very!
- Nu well, when this cube chalk will end - then and home shall go.
Voice with the back to South:
- Entrust I his'm going to eat!

Sitting on behind the seat next taxi, the Nun have observed, that driver looks up on it.
- Dont want you wary of offending, he said, - but I always that was kiss a nun.
- Nu okay. evolved first the Nun. But only, if you a Roman Catholic and an idle.
Driver said, that so it and there is, and then the Nun kissed his in lips long and passionately kiss. A man came in make almost ecstasy, but then has begun to cry.
- In than deal? - asked the Nun.
-me sister, but I have sinned. I lied you: I is married, and I Jew.
The Nun answered:
- Nothing terrible. Me name is Kevin, and I food on masquerade.

Patient asks doctor:
- What means in my diagnosis CHAMPION E. ??
- Damn His Knows someone.

7-year-old kid he gets 4-year-old a little brother: - Hey, bro, we with you already big, it is time us start swears.
- interior, - agrees baby.
- have said: So plan such, - says senior. - Tomorrow on the morning are now moving beyond enjoy breakfast, I say "it comes / I", and you - "to% $yes." And monitored the reaction parents.
Said - done. On the next morning sit on kitchen, mother refers to oldest son:
- What you on breakfast put an?
- I dont would, but more / I, silver dollars, - are quick replies the.
Slarg! - mother with the entire dope he is swapping the him upside the head and kid in tears your from cuisine, has improved greatly for head.
- Nu, and you that? - with the threat in voice asks mother younger.
- Yes I perishing and not know, - timidly since replies baby, - but only in to% $ranked such doggily!

- Vasily Ivanovich, Gulf Stream were 2000 there!
- How many you to speak: Jews in exploration not send!

Three stage maturation men.
1. He believes in and Bergen Frost.
2. He not believes in and Bergen Frost.
3. He - of the transit Ii?ic.

Drunkie... fell asleep. Dream about him that he are a and requests have of sv. Peter to gave him second life. Peter:
- Can give, but only regulation Chatterbox Restaurant.
The guy thought and agreed. Churchgoers on their court yard, the kernels, while are they biting, CLUCKlNG, on our kin looks. Suddenly sensed something.
Followed in 450,000 and laid egg. Thought - "what derive a sense of. Let even times stuck. "
Only laid even egg and sensed smacked upside the head and the cry wife:
- Wake up bastard, entire bed just messed up.

Meet two a hunter:
- Nu as?
- Yes here is, urchins nastrelyal.
- Why?
- Jeunet on collar, mother-on insole.

Soon intergenerational accounts so appreciates as much, that only the rich man can afford to be left lying around to drunk near station.

- scientists chemists, you will be the for our team, was developed very effective whether he was for skis.
Made she on the basis of of turpentine, with defoliation not on skis.
Experience use of showed effectiveness means and in other types of sport

Condom in pocket student-an expert Rostislav recently celebrated an its tryokhletie.

- Comrade Major, can be you have ask, under somehow angle need to shoot, to
Expanding was will be the?
- Straight to the point there.

! Heh, hymalayan, when I see, as you with Katya out walking on park me want to speak poems.
Pushkin?
No, Chukovsky. Gorilla goes, exhibition two is leading! !

- Entrust me, please, ??? ?? ? ? the contestant red cuddly toy the ass.
- dear, this not ass, and heart of!
- independence, I 20 years a cardio-thoracic surgeonve worked. Give me ??? ?? ? ? the contestant
Red cuddly toy the ass.

On television now the most are a good Canal - the X-rated channel, without bombings, without assassinations, increasingly like each other and happy the endgame.

Student intends to on a date:
- Mam, let-money!
- No, not dam.
- You grandchildren request, that whether?
- Now, son, here is money.

- Nu called we with friend as something to itself girl, drank - F'd, even drank - again F'd.
- I sent to girl.
- What girl?
- Nu that you called!
- Aah. Yes she not came.

Interesting surveillance:
To - Geneva,,,, be going renegotiation the pedestrians on there's puddles
And - water on the road, 'Arry River, the
In - drive not clear not polite in this day nepogozhiy
O - gives what I cheerful such.

Letter reported to Father Claus:
"Expensive ari Ziemassveku Ii?ic! On past New year I asked you girl.
So here is, take it, take it ago this a fool and let better mangerines! "

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230

And know whether you, that the vampires-pederastam a wooden his put in ass?!

If you until now think, that your wife likes you more, than your
A, homilies, too, piss in it in heavy foot.

- A truth say, that you have tolyattintsev hands from asses are rising?
- That's a bloody lie, have real tolyattintsev ass is growing out of the hands.

Poses amazing, described and illustrated in the Kama Sutra, - this only Crescent
Semblance of moreover, that can be see in marshrutkakh and subway in hour peak.

Plumber Sidorov podul on cake, and candles became infected with.

Workers Gordormoststroya after weekends not can software, where they
Work.

Opening the Moscow Planetarium again delayed on deferential reasons
- not works door castle.

Is expected, that in soon in Law "Oh police" will carry
Changes, thanks to which policemen will be able demand mleko, ,
Eggiwegs, and also inspect ausvaysy.

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231

SMS:
- Greetings, pussy! As what about the moreover, to to meet? I buy returned
Guilt, apartment fully in our disposal.
The answer:
- 's a very enticing proposal. Only-year-old Katya there is no homes. This its Pope. Better
A cerveza man. I soon d. Flushed-have-have-the

In dependence from intonation one thing use the f-word car mechanic Tarasov can mean until 50 various details and equipment.

- Fifth the size of the breast - this as from whom roughly?
- Wu Semyonovich.
- A sixth?
- A sixth - this ass.

Nikolai Valuev thanks to brute physical strength can to collect matryoshek
Not on order.

Have someone in anybody thought, and have has muesli.

People do worked in Uryupinsky flying circus for 16 thousands of rubles in
Month. But in people his a Man idiot.

Family scrum.
- Wu you all girlfriends terrible!
- A have you all friends use the!
- Yes because, that have you all girlfriends terrible!

Medvedev and Putin stepping in back there for fishermen, reassuring, that fishing catching in
The city the ditches, pools, toilets all the time and other places without fish can be will
Engage absolutely for free.

Money - this prosthesis happiness.

Husband brought together purchased furniture membrane. Wife:
- You its not for. If open door bodystyles, lower Office, filled door middle
Is a and Hits the head with the.
Husband:
- I all for. The Bottom department for things mother-in-law.

Than malobyudzhetney car, those this obnoxious yelling signaling.

Life moves away, as gas from lighters. Without ceasefire and with stench.

In family, where 11 children, children thought, that condoms need only for
Game in balls. Their parents, too,.

Stages of development market in Russia:
- 1990 years there is no goods;
- 2000 years there is goods, no money;
- 2010 years - there is goods, there is money, there is no buyers. (Fuck - and this there is fact, comrades!)

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Ironically. :)

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- Why man never. Not has what wants?
- MA It simply: If would he wanted to the, that has, he would had the, that
Wants. And so he never wants moreover, that has, so that he never and
Not has what wants.

British scientists invented such the device, with the help which can be easily
Undergo through Wall, and called his at all prikolno - the door.

If whistle in themselves, then money will!

Novelty from confectionery factories the Red Lantern - sweets Nu-pay, narrativising.

How many mother-in-law not feed - it still looks.

Drivers marshrutok not only sleep, until in bed not will derive 17
Man

A checkout clerk in bank account client:
- call a series of and Number passports.
C:
- my?!
A checkout clerk:
- Nu, if can, crossings of my!

- Yasha, from you poorly reeks. Need to go in bath and pomitis.
Yasha deployed downrange heart of is faring, but is returning grimmer clouds.
- Never again not do there, Sarah! During washing I lost vest!
Passes year.
- Yasha, you again poorly smell like. Will have you go in bath.
He is faring and is returning bright.
- Sarah, I ??? has found its vest! In the times I its donned under straitjacket!

Coward only winter in hockey not plays. Summer he not plays in football.

On radio convey horoscope:
- ball's out today difficult give debts.
And me always why something seemed, that contrary - easily.

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Wife, Muzeum Wsi Slowinskiej to a doctor, chooses a new ?? linen.
Husband mocks:
- Why new linen? You after all southern to the dentist.
- A suddenly he proves a smart aleck with me?

Mister Yanukovych! You called Chekhov great Ukraines poet. And that you say about'yevich Gogol?
Nu, Gogol my a favorite search site!

Even Boris Godunov in Jewish theater:
Godunov: Azokhen wei, the boyars! That OK Shuisky not see among here?
The director: Stop sign, stop sign! Monia, not among here , and the between here ! This will be ??? modicum nemnozhechko la Russe!

Husband and wife only in kpovat.
She: - Wu me so aching head, I so ystala.
He: - Smotpi, you as like it or, and I I'll be you could lie.

And his chief Anatoly Alexandrovich Jose Padilla lovingly call Anal.

Your lucky the number of - 7352685223431656234754. Are looking for his everywhere!


Pea soup Maggie with croutons - a fart with the snapping!

If on you has attacked deep: Just pluck cord and squeeze out glass.


L:
- Lieutenant Rzhevsky, I not doubt in your impotence, so play, please, the next party in billiards - a pool cue blindly.

Not like it or this a melody on its mobile phone?! Send "I'm instructing you to WANT TO" on 4242!

On markets have become sell old vegetables and fruits at reduced prices within government program "Accessible a punk."

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A realist in his - this the, whom don't give a fuck, is full whether the glass half or same half empty. Him important, that in ECNs.

To torrents coined Jesus Christ: He bought 5 loaves and 2 fish, and then
Separated their on 5,000 people.

Guy teaches girl on I.M.S as enjoy Photoshop:
- rose by 21.83 points 1s window, then 2s, then please close any 1-most know Broke a?
- We did it.
- What became?
- It's cold became.

A trendy trade center. Is faring couple - he and she. He its affectionately call embracing and
Says:
- Yes, cool am informed! Pity, that I greedy, and the would I you their necessarily
Bought!

Policemen, grandmothers and some persimmons unites one thing - all they headgear of.

Popular trucker wisdom:

The kind had a faster where us there is no
Who dM changes - is the asshole
Who without povorotnika dM changes - is the mother [Bleep

Graduate student Sidorov in 11 saved honor twelve DKE incident, because
On the evening have a fire got drunk in Remy-and to.

Very nor when - vikipedik.

- A brief history of Raphoe dzhan, I heard have you son was born, as called?
- In honor Gagarin!
- Urich, that whether?
- na-a-ah, what Urich? Gagarik!

Anna: And even we in school, when Latin began to study, played in Roman
Empire - used to make up our itself different "Latin" names. Lena was "Lenus."
Masha - "Muniz's.." And me not very was lucky)

In castle to Award despaired Prince and married on it, either had been flown
Dragon and drakonil.

- How best prevent hangover after good drinking-bouts, sprees?
- He went to throw up.
- A how to do this?
- Stick one index should sit in his mouth, and the other - in ass.
- A if not will help?
- Change them fingers jobs.

- You on fishing how many caught?
- exact than "Kolya.
- So he nothing not caught.
- A I still and your cast've apparently fucked up.

What tigers on drunk mistake shoved head in his mouth clown.

In end "Spartak" boys, conveyor balls, had a fight with boys,
Made hope.

Grandfather Vadim smozolil eyebrows, uneasy feeling that from grandfather porphyrins home.

Vlad Stashevskiy, touring... on Moskovskaya Oblast ', Russia, lost travel on May.

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:-D

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A man, sitting for table in cafes with his girlfriend, loudly complained to:
- Women always increasingly accept on its expense!
Three women, sitting nearby, but clearly not familiar with each other,
Turned out and in one voice responded:
- I - no!

Announcement in the entrance: "I'm just drilling concrete in any convenient for you time. Bodies.
Of XXX-twentieth-twentieth, 8-909-of XXX-twentieth-twentieth. "
Below postscript Marker: "Bitch, finally I you has found!"

- captured, place birth?
- wyglada Kazakhstan!
- A more precisely?
- Everyone the cops write simply: Kazakhstan.
- You this, even me here regulation teach!
- wyglada: Karmakshinskiy district% than area rural-urban divide nikurgan!
- So and burn. Kazakhstan.

story, me as usually!
How usually? Yes sake of God. Protection, gonna chuck his the fuck!

Nikolai Valuev asked to hand money for road tolls in a route taxi. Him
Had transferred money absolutely all, who was in a route taxi.

Plumber Sidorov, chiefdom the only bottle vodka, instantaneously in the eyes of
Demonizing reversed the its sexual orientation.

- That he where! You why left, nothing not said, key not left?! Mother
All the morgues, all hospitals've called: There is no nowhere keys.

Let us will exchange Khodorkovsky on Strauss-Kahn. Strauss-Kahn give finance
French, for this the British will give us Berezovsky. We to the throne
Berezovsky on place Khodorkovsky. And the French British, will must.

Every Russian man is dreaming although would times in life pull the cord and
Squeeze out glass.

Female luck for the: Withdrew without my face on - meet all known!

To coast the US approaching a new superpower Hurricane. Him already was qualified as
Highest population growth rate degree of dangers and title Hero of Russian Federation.

Programmer Russian language bitterly crying, checking composing "How I
Spent as a child summer. " Now she knew that to do, but years already are gone.

Ah nakhamili you in a supermarket cashier. Not worry about it. Put it down produce fish
In bread department.

If staffer at work sits 10 minutes without affairs, then he automatically
Crosses in ompressor regime.

If human suddenly obey good whack stick on anybody, then he says:
"Fuck-I-I!", even if never before not spoke la Russe.

Than more woman we love, the more the brain shes camping on

On run a poetry Sonnin "How I spent as a child summer" won a boy
From Workuta, Russia. His Schettler consisted of two words: "In snow."

Why after fifth glasses vodka men...... do seems, that all await their
Telephone call??

Buratine saw a the axe and he has awakened the entire in berezovom juice.

- How can bethis state of?
- Necessarily need capital. Although would a small, with start-up.
- A aswith start-up capital?
- Necessarily need a pistol. Although would a small, with start-up.

Have just there is no issues. For entire history programs "What? Where? When? "
From just not time come nor one issue.

Couple, which more just likes adventures - this vodka and ass.

Teacher chants, accepting before each lesson on 50 grams brandy for
Up, to dating lesson turns into trudovika

- Darling, and that OK you immediately not told, that you such a bitch?
- surprise!

Enough to Vasily Petrov, lives in farms Small wiener stuff, in
Skotozabitom side street, house 2, hates its worded from-for words house 2.

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:D  :D  :D

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In Chinese restaurant food prepare not only Turkmen, but and themselves Uzbeks.

Chairman collective farm failing ownership, sees, the accordionist for the barn
Consider the cow has. Suited and says:
- You that, Petrovic, think you're doing?! Have you OK homes wife, children!
- Poboysya God, Kondratich, DAUGHTERS-MOVIE HERE with?!

- Mam, buy it 3D lens.
- You'm here to splice, that whether, been sniffing the, reaction, have you just 2 eyes.

"I'm going to bury", - got my hopes up a Vasily and ascents of for sofa, but to bury not
Managed. And immediately as something worrying and life became the cat ??????????????.

Husband wife in gladiatorial squabbles:
- A have you tits small!
Wife:
- A have you. And have you.
Is beginning to feverishly touch in mind: A member of have him big, wages
A huge, erudition broad, friends some of the smartest guys people, face and figure
Beautiful. Not finding nothing better, in despair:
- A have your wife tits small!

- What there for noise on the street, Barrymore?
- Dollar is growing, Sir.
- A that happened, Barrymore?
- America on the verge of default Sir.
- So if America on the verge of default, why is growing and not falls?!
- whores, Sir. (This if who not in rate - there is an analogous joke nicely pro whores, which an)

Have detainees pirates withdrawn 9 grams yo-took-took and bottle Roma.

The puzzle: Sits the damsel in your tomb, and Spit on the street.
The answer: Mainstream Tymoshenko

In a poetry childhood drawings on asphalt won reaction, painted
Circle. Rest participants took away ViJ.

Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov never fills the no amount forms.
He simply stupidly's stealing pattern.

Deserting for machines dogs this souls yvolennyx gaishnikov.

John up that was earn $100 thousand And make it until 100. And earned
$318 billion And died in 97. Not all dreams are being realized.

Icelandic scientists opened a new volcano. To his call, they on
Waiting lists slept on the keyboard.

Theater "Shall a" transferred in St. Petersburg with 14 February on 21 August! :rofl:

In branch compact disks.
- Can whether I you than any help?
- No, thank you, I himself. Simply'm, to even download with torrenta. (Bitch, circuits joke nicely - there is such a category laziest faggots, which, instead of, that would at least as efficient, priperayutsya me in this Milky Way and are beginning, towards, itself of night, is it free plan)

Rabinovich and Shlemenzon have a falling out. Rabinovich with the streets sees Shlemenzona,
There have windows, and shouts him:
- Dodik, if would I was so handsome, as you, I would better fielded in window
Its strong loin!
- Yasha, and I so and made, - replies Shlemenzon, - but people have become to speak:
"Dobryi day, Mr. Rabinovich!".

In no clothing left a man refers to the woman behind the counter:
- Hello, me, please, 3 mailbox vodka, 50 liters beer,
5 boxes martinis and 30 packs condoms.
- That, please.
- Thanks.
- Young man, wait a!
- What such?
- look me with a!

Summer - this the kind it is time, when don that sex - this potlivaya Train, and
The true [kayf]- scratching mosquito serves.

- What will, if cross your of the elephant with looked like a raccoon?
- the Coon not will.

- By all indications number of people not involving twists - gay-clubs must
Come kicking from visitors.
- Dont confuse notions. In gay-club trek gays, and those who not include
Twists - this motherfuckers.

The Russian family in representation American:
- Darling, I homes!
- Why so late?
- Over road the bear pace has sprained - had to vodka down.
- Sit down all! Let us upcoming vodka.
- Mam, I do, I'll play with China bear.
- Yes, only first have a drink vodka.
- A where our grandfather?
- He second week is worth in waiting lists for all those coupons on the cards.
- Yes, that he before these stimulant vodka. And you without affairs not Cote dAzur - Walk
, too, have a drink vodka.
- Ok, Walk, on, take a walk, son, and nott forget write on the evening report in KGB!
And on path home nott forget buy vodka - she ends.
- Darling, something feel hot. Turn it off, please, nuclear reactor.
- Now vodka as I finish my drink and'll turn it off, and you until play on balalaika.

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let for machines dogs this souls yvolennyx gaishnikov.

This accurately :crazyfun:

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